I Almost Died...

I Almost Died...

Early this morning was a realization for me. I almost died. My heart was crushed into pieces and my whole body was trembling as if it was my final day.

Flashbacks and all kept flashing before my eyes.

Then I remember my winning short story piece way back in college entitled "" Sa Kanto Ng Langit At Dilim"" about a young lad trying to know the real him. How many times will he walk to find his soul?

That was 13 years ago and for the past few days, I embarked on the same journey but this time it was the worst. I almost died.

I always asked myself when will the emptiness ends, I am really tired. And then again my feet keeps me running or walking to this very dark pavement that I hate. I still have the tenacity to look for something that I don''t know or sure of.

I am the one to be blamed for what I''ve experienced. I let it happen. I saw the signs and still I continue to accept the evil-sweet thoughts that I thought will change. But it didn''t.

Instead I dug my own grave.

The experience was tantamount to a real horrifying movie like scream or any rape scene. This time I managed to cheat death or a severe injury, for now. I was not able to apply my karate or boxing skills but my high-pitch voice saved me. I screamed the loudest HELP in my entire life. And god saved me. The scratches, punches and the blood that dripped into my skin were not enough compared to the emotional damage that this experience has taught me. I was scared really! I almost died. I''m traumatized!

I kept my silence even to my closest friends! And I am still bleeding inside. I am scared.

I almost died.

They say that we always have two faces and for sure I have it too! Behind my smiling face, I am trying to conceal my own loneliness.