Attention Communifakers...

Communifakers?Moi? Uhmm... Sometimes, or most of the times when I am bored or just flirting around. And all of a sudden my phone rang, busted! But there are rules in "communifaking" so that you will not be the laughing stock of the people around you, telling how crazy you are for faking the call...

According to research, 43 percent of women are guilty of communifaking, as are 32 percent of men and 74 percent of 18-24 year olds. So what is it? Communifaking is the act of pretending to be calling, texting or surfing the web on your phone when, in reality, you're just an impostor. You might be trying to look busy waiting in line, you might be trying to show off your shiny new iPhone for a lady, or (most often for me) trying to avoid awkward conversations with strange men at bars.

Here are some rules when communifaking;

Make sure your phone is on silent! This includes all sounds, ringtones, text messages, low battery reminders, voice mail chimes...anything. If that phone goes off in the middle of a fake conversation, the jig is up. Most phones have a profile or quick silent setting that will allow you to turn all sounds on or off remotely fast. BUT two exceptions to the silent rule follow...

Know your phone. Some phones have buttons on the side for controlling volume. Get to know these buttons well enough to utilize them in the dark or while they're still in your pocket. This way, if you're in the middle of an awkward convo and you need desperately out, you can always bail out with that urgent phone call. DO NOT forget to return to silent mode as soon as you "pick up" the call. Try to fumble with the screen as if you're deciding to answer or not.

If you don't have side buttons and want to fake someone calling you, go to your ringtone section and hover over one or select one and it will play. Play the ringtone, then go back to your homescreen. This will interrupt the tone and it will look like you are answering the phone. Proceed with a conversation.

Even if your phone is on silent, it may flash when events occur. If you have an external screen, face it away from the target.

Have a fake conversation ready. In most social situations, a general fake laugh, or "really?" will do the trick for a quick blow-by. Think about how much you talk when your buddy calls. Probably not much more than a laugh or a quick, "That sucks."

Are you a communifaker? Whether you're a seasoned pro or new to the 'faking, you should check out the list of situations where you should and shouldn't be posing.

When it's OK to communifake:

• To avoid unwanted male or female attention.


• When you're at an event and you know absolutely no one and are feeling a bit lonely and must do a bit of fakery for the benefit of your own sanity.


• When you're a child who doesn't know any better.


• When you've turned up to your meeting ill-prepared and are buying time to think.


• You're trying to look productive.


• To avoid looking like a loser at a party because you don't know anyone other than the person who's party it is (they can't hang around with you all night).


• You're on a date and have just realized you've made a horrible horrible mistake and need an escape.


• A friend is boring or annoying the hell out of you and you need to make a break for it before you kill her/him.

When it's not OK to communifake:

• Attempting to show off your new handset.


• To talk loudly and essentially show off about what you've been up to lately, hoping the surrounding people are listening and oozing with jealousy.


• When attempting to shop lift.


• When trying to look cool so you don't look like a loner waiting for friends.


• When on a bus or mrt/lrt. (Believe it or not, but there are still some who haven't realized there's no signal underground yet.)


• When expecting a call. When the phone rings mid 'conversation' you'll just end up looking the fool.

"People experience the need to appear socially busy at all times and 'just waiting' is a no-no. Our basic human instinct is to be part of a group. Alone we can feel more vulnerable."